


They Weren't There

by queen_chrystellapines



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Dating violence, M/M, Realistic, Songfic, Unhealthy Relationships, dating abuse, you don't even know how much it hurt to write this.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6330082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_chrystellapines/pseuds/queen_chrystellapines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic Yullen Allen and Kanda have been together for a year and are happier than ever. Well they appear to be, anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Weren't There

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [They Weren't There](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/184300) by Missy Higgins. 



> AN: I know this probably isn't what you guys want, but at my school we're talking about dating violence and this is one of my favorite songs and I was like "Hey, this could be... hmmmm..." And thus, this Songfic was born. I had a really hard time writing this because I like fluff. I hope you enjoy it.

**You breathed infinity into my world**

**And time was lost up in a cloud and in a world**

**We dug hole in cool gray earth and lay there for the night**

**And you said**

**"Wait for me well fly the wind**

**We'll grow old you'll be stronger without him"**

**But oh now**

"Kanda!" Allen called out cheerfully from the end of the pier, urging him forward. "Hurry up!" He laughed. "You'll miss it!"

Kanda smiled at the boy's childishness. "Coming. Silly, Moyashi." He quickened his pace up slightly. Upon reaching the end of the pier he looked over to see the water shining brightly with little fish swimming in every direction. His eyes couldn't stay there long- they had moved back up to his white haired companion who was completely taken by the sight. Kanda wrapped his arm around the other male's waist.

"I love you, Allen." His smile widened at the words, words of affirmation were rare from Kanda.

"I love you, too!" He kissed Kanda's cheek. "Come on, Lavi and Lenalee are probably at the theater by now!" Kanda sighed at this and held the male tighter.

"Do we really have to go? Wouldn't you rather just go home and hangout?"

"Why say that? We have plans with them. They're our friend-"

"Your friends. Friends that like to take up all of your time at that." Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Why are you being like that? They're your friends, too, Kanda." Allen looked slightly hurt.

"I'm sorry. I just miss you." He said finally.

"What do you mean? I'm right here." Allen said, now confused.

"I don't know. I just want to lay in bed with you for a little while. Just enjoy your company." Allen smiled at how cute he was.

"I'll text them to let them know something came up. Let's go." He laced his fingers into Kanda's. The other male grinned thankfully.

**My world is at your feet**

**I was lost and I was found**

**I was alive and now I drown**

**So now I will**

**Be waiting for the world to hear my song**

**So they can tell me I was wrong**

"Hey, Allen! It's Lavi! I was just calling to check up on you and Kanda! It's been what, a month now? Anyways, please give us a call. We'd like to see you guys. Don't forget about Lenalee and my engagement party this weekend. Tell Kanda we say hello. Bye."

"Bye, Allen!" Lenalee called. Lavi hung up the phone and frowned.

"I wonder if he's alright. He doesn't usually just not answer." Lenalee rubbed his back.

"Don't worry. I'm sure he's alright. He and Kanda are just taken with each other. I do know what you mean, though. I miss seeing him." Lavi's eyes lit up.

"Let's go visit them!" Lenalee mirrored his expression.

"Great idea! I'll grab our coats." She ran to the next room and Lavi smiled after her. His gaze fell to the phone and worry over came his features, but he he shook it off as his fiance entered the room.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

"Yup!"

They traveled the twenty minutes to the couple's small apartment, relieved to see their shared car outside.

"I wonder why they didn't pick up the land line?" Lavi asked, a strange feeling still lingering.

"Oh goodness, I hope they're not, uhm... busy." Lena said, covering her mouth, before heading up the stairs to their door. Lavi followed but they both stopped suddenly at the sound of a crash and a yell. Lavi knocked harshly on the door. It was answered by an irritated looking Kanda.

"Are you guys alright?" He assessed the situation. Allen was on the ground picking up the broken pieces of a vase while Kanda stood looking angry at the two who walked in.

"Now's not a good time." Kanda said shortly. Allen looked up teary eyed.

"What happened?" Lenalee said stepping through the doorway.

"Nothing. The vase just fell off the table." Kanda said quickly, irritation in his voice. The two hesitated for a moment as their eyes went down the the smaller male who was now faced away from them.

"Allen?" Lavi asked.

"It's alright, guys. I accidentally knocked it off when I walked past it. Kanda's right, though. Now's not a good time. I'll call you later." He said, not facing them.

"Are you sure, Allen?" Lenalee asked, looking between the two occupants of the apartment. Allen nodded silently. The couple left quietly and shut the door behind them. They shared a look before continuing to their car.

Lenalee had been waiting by the phone for the promised call for almost two hours when the line rang.

"Hello?" She answered quickly. Lavi was in the room in an instant.

"Hey, Lena. It's Allen." She sighed in relief and nodded at Lavi.

"Put it on speaker phone." He mouthed.

"Allen, I'm putting you on speaker, Lavi's here."

"Okay." He said, his voice now filling the room. He sounded more tired than usual.

"What's up? Where've you been?" Lavi asked. They heard a sigh on the other end.

"Here and there, mostly at home. Why'd you guys stop by?" Their friend sounded rushed.

"We just wanted to check up on you is all. How are you? Today seemed tense." Lena piped up.

"Yeah, just a misunderstanding is all. Sorry for him being so irritated, we had just had an argument." Allen laughed lightly, but it sounded fake. The couple was silent for a minute. "Do you guys mind not just dropping by out of the blue like that? We don't really like surprise visitors" Allen asked nervously. Their eyes met worriedly at the words they knew were a lie. Allen had always been excited by their surprise visits.

"Sure, buddy. But you gotta pick up the phone every once in a while so we know you're okay." Lavi replied.

"I will." He sounded a bit lighter. "Thank you guys so much for understanding."

"No problem, Allen. Are you coming to the party?" A door was opened on the other end.

"Yes, I'll be there. I have to go. Bye."

"Wait Al-" The line went dead and the tone filled the air for a moment before Lenalee hung up the phone.

"Something's not right." Lavi said and earned a nod from his partner.

"Kanda's always been like that but never towards Allen. In the whole year they've been together I've never seen him direct any anger towards him." Lavi shook his head and sighed before kissing her forehead.

"I'm sure everything will be alright. They'll be at the party this weekend. Let's leave it alone until then, okay?" Lenalee nodded and leaned into him.

**But they weren't beneath your stare**

**And they weren't stripped til they were bare**

**Of any bindings of the world outside that room**

**And they weren't taken by the hand**

**And led through fields of naked land**

**Where any preconceived ideas were blown away**

**So i couldn't say no**

"Who was that on the phone?" Kanda asked, flowers now clenched in his hand.

"It was Lenalee and Lavi. They wanted to know if we were going to the party this weekend." Kanda stepped closer.

"What did you say?" Allen looked at him, bewildered.

"Well I said yes. We already RSVP'd when they gave the invitation." The older male closed his eyes in frustration.

"I already told you I didn't feel like going." Allen was taken aback.

"Kanda, it's their engagement party... We have to go." He said hesitantly.

"We don't _have_ to do anything. Now we're definitely not going." He shoved the flowers at Allen and made his way to the door.

"I just told them we were going! The party's in four days, we- I can't cancel now." He held the slightly crumpled flowers to his chest, feeling a bit bad for ruining Kanda's mood again, right after he'd felt better. He stopped at the doorway.

"Then I will call and cancel for you. Tomorrow." Allen felt tears sting at his eyes but didn't argue. Kanda looked back at the boy who was trying to hide his sullen expression. He felt guilt rising up a bit. He walked towards the boy and sat on the bed and wrapped an arm around him. "Look, you know I don't like going to parties and stuff. And I most definitely don't want you going without me- what with all of the creeps out at night. They wouldn't think twice about hurting you. Why are you getting upset when I'm just trying to keep you safe?" He asked. Allen shrugged.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Kanda pulled him closer.

"I love you. You know that, right? Nothing will ever change that." Allen wiped his tears away and smiled at his lover.

"I know. I love you, too."

**You saw it and I was lost in you**

**Weeks could've passed for all I knew**

**You were the blanket of the over world**

**So I couldn't say**

**I wouldn't say no**

Kanda and Allen laughed at a scene in a movie they had rented.

"I'm going to go get some popcorn, okay?" Allen asked. Kanda nodded and smiled.

"Hurry back." Sure enough, as quick as possible Allen was back in his arms, cuddling into his warmth. His head lay on Kanda's chest, listening to his heart beat. Kanda's fingers lazily played across the younger male's back and through his hair. "This is all I need." He said contently. Allen smiled sleepily.

"I could lay here forever." Kanda planted a kiss on his forehead as the light haired male dozed off.

**And they all said**

**You're too young to even know**

**Just don't let it grow**

**And you'll be stronger with out him**

**But oh now**

**My world is at your feet**

**I was lost and I was found**

**I was alive and now I drown**

**So now I will**

**Be waiting for the world to hear my song**

**So they can tell me I was wrong**

Allen was jolted from his sleep some time the next morning. Kanda groaned at the sound of the phone ringing.

"Who's calling at this time in the morning?"

"It's probably a bill collector or something." Allen said miserably. He pushed him self up and walked towards the phone. "Hello?" He said sleepily.

"Hey, Allen. It's Lena. I need someone to help me pick out my dress for the party. Can you come?" She sounded very excited. Allen almost agreed happily but stopped suddenly.

"A-about that, Lena. Kanda and I aren't going to be able to make it to the party." Kanda was now up and walking towards him. He slipped his hands around his waist and rested his head on Allen's shoulder next to the phone.

"What? Why not?" She sounded upset.

"Something came up. I'm sorry Lena." He said apologetically, feeling nervous with Kanda right there.

"Allen, something's not right here. Tell me what's going on between you and Kanda. You know you can talk to me. Or even Lavi. We're your _friends_. Please don't push us away. If he's hurting you or-"

"Where is this coming from? Kanda loves me. Why would he hurt me?" Allen was angry at the suggestion.

"You guys have been weird lately. He won't let you out, or even talk on the phone, Allen. And he was definitely yelling at you when Lavi and I stopped by the other day."

"I already told you that was a misunderstanding, Lenalee. Look. I gotta go." He said frustrated.

"Allen, ple-" Kanda took the phone and hung it up.

"And that's why I don't like them being around. They're trying to fill your head with nonsense." Kanda said, irritated.

"They're just worried is all. They don't understand. Can you blame them?" Allen tried comforting Kanda by rubbing his shoulder but he shrugged him away. "Don't be angry." Allen tried to step closer to him but was shoved back suddenly and fell onto the floor. "Ow!"

"Don't touch me right now." Kanda glared at Allen.

"Why are you mad at me? What did I do?" Allen said, standing back up.

"You probably tell them that I'm bad to you, otherwise they wouldn't get that idea. Is that what you want? More drama?" Kanda yelled, getting in Allen's face. He flinched.

"Kanda that's crazy I would ne-"

"I'M NOT CRAZY." He shoved him again. "Don't you _dare_ say that. I have every right to be angry right now." Allen put his hands up in defense.

"Kanda, stop!"

"I'm not even doing anything!" He yelled again, his fist clenching.

"Please just calm down. You're scaring me." He pleaded. He was shoved again into the wall.

"I'm scaring YOU? You're the one who keeps leaving without a word and associating with those... those low lives. You're fine here, with me."

"What are you talking about?" Allen said, now angry. "They are not low lives! They're my frie-" Kanda's fist connected with Allen's jaw causing his head to hit the wall and he fell to ground clenching his jaw.

"You see what you made me do?" Kanda yelled, kicking at him. Allen put his arms out in defense.

"Kanda, please stop!" He was crying now.

"You're the worst kind of person. You get someone riled up and then when they get angry you play innocent. You're a fake little liar. You're lucky I even stay with you." He spat the words at him and left the room to their bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Allen lay there on the ground crying silently for a moment.

When he finally did rise he noticed the room in disarray. He moved the couch back to where it was supposed to be, put the phone back on the phone plunger, and straightened the rug. He then made his way to the bathroom to clean up.

**But they weren't beneath your stare**

**And they weren't stripped til they were bare**

**Of any bindings of the world outside that room**

**And they weren't taken by the hand**

**And led through fields of naked land**

**Where any preconceived ideas were blown away**

Lenalee stood there, mouth hanging open, with the phone still clutched to her ear. She had heard it all. Tears were flying to her eyes. Lavi walked into the room.

"What did Allen say?" He asked pulling some cash off of the dresser.

"He-" She tried to get the words out, still in shock.

"Well spit it out." Lavi chuckled. He turned around and saw her expression and immediately became serious. "What's wrong? What happened?" He was at her side in a millisecond. He shook her slightly and then seemed to pull her back to her senses as realization dawned on her.

"We have to go there now!" She said in a panic. She shot up from the bed and ran for the door.

"Lena! Wait! Tell me what happened?" He said frantically. "Is Allen alright?"

"I- I don't know!" She was crying now."

"Lenalee, please tell me what happened." He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around.

"We were talking on the phone and he told me he couldn't come to the party tomorrow and I think Kanda was listening because after he thought he hung up the phone, or at least he thought he did. They started arguing and then there were a lot of loud crashes and yelling and then all of the sudden it got really quiet. Kanda hurt him, Lavi. We have to go." Lavi nodded.

"You stay here, okay? If that's true, I don't want you going there." He said firmly.

"I have to go!"

"Lena, you're in no state to go anywhere. I'll bring Allen back here. Get a room ready for him. Please?" He begged. She hesitated before relenting. "Okay. I'll be back soon. I love you."

"I love you, too." She said as he walked out the door.

He drove more than just a little over the speed limit and was there in ten minutes. He took the stares two at a time and knocked on the door loudly.

"Allen? Are you in there? Open up!" He called. He heard the locks being fumbled with and the door opened to reveal the nasty sight of a beat up Allen.

"Lavi, you have to leave." Allen said, fear in his eyes at the sound of a crash from the back of the apartment.

"Like hell I do. Look at you." He pushed in the door. "Come on. We're going to the hospital." His degree in medicine told him that his friend probably had a concussion and needed to see a real doctor soon.

"No, please, just go." Allen pleaded.

"What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Allen's face was that of dread.

"Please go." He tried to push him out of the door, but Lavi pushed past him.

"Did you do this to him?" He asked angrily.

"So what if I did? It's none of your business. Allen told you to leave. Now go." He said through gritted teeth.

"I don't care how many years I've known you. You get away from him." Lavi said, putting himself in between the two. Allen was frantic now.

"Guys, just calm down. Lavi, please go home. I've got this." He said shakily.

"Allen, have you seen yourself? You don't have this. He literally beat you senseless."

"I already told you it's none of your business." Kanda yelled and pushed Lavi out of the way and grabbed Allen.

"Let go of him!" Lavi said, trying to pull Allen away. Kanda reared back and punched Lavi.

"You won't tell me what to do with him, he's _mine!_ Don't touch him! Don't touch me. Get. Out." He growled.

"Lavi, please!" Allen cried.

"I'm not leaving without him." He said, wiping the blood from his chin and rising from the ground.

"You sure do seem to care a lot. It's almost like you're in love with him." Kanda spat. "So you've been cheating on me, too? You're disgusting." He pushed Allen back onto the ground and lunged after Lavi. The two males fought until Allen pushed himself in between them.

"STOP! PLEASE just stop..." He was becoming fuzzy. The blackness started invading his vision.

**And they weren't there beneath your stare**

**And they weren't stripped til they were bare**

**Of any bindings of the world outside that room**

**And they weren't taken by the hand**

**And led through fields of naked land**

**Where any preconceived ideas were blown away**

When he came to the first thing he noticed was the white, well, everything. He groaned at the growing pain in his head.

"Allen, are you awake?" Allen flinched back at the sight of dark hair and pale skin. He whimpered as he tried to move away. Lenalee tried to calm him down. "Allen, it's just me! It's Lenalee." He calmed down slightly at the words.

"Wh-where's Lavi? Kanda?"

"Lavi's downstairs giving a police report. They took Kanda in to custody." Allen jolted up.

"Like to jail? Why?" He asked desperately clinging onto her.

"Wh- Because he hurt you Allen! You're in the hospital!" She said.

"No, no, I'm fine. I have to go get him out. I told you guys not to come by without asking." He was crying now.

"Allen, can you hear yourself right now?"

"Lenalee, you don't understand! We just had a little fight. People have those, okay?"

"People have verbal fights over small things. They don't put each other in the hospital. That's not love." She tried.

"How could you know whether he loved me or not? You're weren't there! If you would've just left me alone and stop[ed calling this never would've happened! We were always fine until someone else tried to butt in." He said angrily, pulling away from her. She flinched at his words.

"Allen... we're just trying to help you..." She said quietly.

"Okay well so far you've caused problems with my boyfriend and I, which led to me in the hospital and him in jail, which means I no longer have a home because he's the only one who works, and plus he'll never forgive me for this! Maybe you should just stop trying to help and mind your own business!" He finished, wheezing for breath. She sat there shocked for a moment.

Suddenly a key landed in Allen's lap. He looked up to see Lavi's bruised up face.

"It's our house key. Lenalee found the spare and set up a room at our house for you after hearing what happened over the phone. She also came over to your apartment, despite me asking her not to, and helped me haul you out of there where you would've been hurt even worse or possibly killed." They room was dead silent as Allen looked at the key he now held in his hands. His hair covered his face. Lenalee saw the droplets splash onto his hands and enveloped him in a hug.

"It's okay." She whispered. Lavi sat on the other side of the bed and put his hand on his friends back. "Everything's going to be okay."

**So I couldn't say**

_I still love him._

**No.**

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Okay so a lot of people don't understand why the victims of dating violence go back to the people who abused them. I was in a domestic violence relationship and I can personally say that those people need to shut up because, once again, they don't understand. "They weren't there" for the moments that weren't bad, and most of them weren't. They weren't there to see why we still loved them. They only knew of the bad moments and judged off of that. I just want to make it known that I do not support dating violence, after a long time I realized what was going on and ended it, not because I didn't love him ,because I really did, but for my own safety. And that's where a person has to get. They have to get to a place where they can put themselves first. And that's a really hard place to get to. That's why I hate it when people try and judge those WHO ARE ABUSED. Like nah, bee. Chill. Until you've walked in my shoes you can't understand how bad they hurt.
> 
> ANYWAYS. Allen doesn't go back to Kanda in this story. Very sad. But he does get therapy and a nice new boyfriend who he later on marries and lives happily ever after with:) Kanda also gets help, although begrudgingly at first, and finds someone!
> 
> To be honest I wanted to make Tyki the abuser, and Kanda the rescuer, but then I decided that if it was Kanda my point would get across better. Mainly because I'm a huge supporter of Yullen but if Kanda were to ever abuse Allen- I mean, canon Kanda has definitely shown signs of at least WANTING to kick his ass so it's plausible- then there would still need to be consequences.
> 
> I hope you liked it :( BECAUSE I SURE DIDN'T LIKE WRITING IT D:


End file.
